Stuck
by Nac Mac Feegle me
Summary: Sanzo-ikko are stuck on an island and they all blame it on Gojyo... but is it someone else's fault?


lw : i think people reviewed... i'm not sure... my stupid com. couldn't get into the site  
  
gojyo : serves you right  
  
lw : hmph! you watch out gojyo... you're as good as dead  
  
i've finished reading saiyuki reload 2!!!! *singing for joy* okay... let's start the story... but it won't be as good as SOME experienced writers'... *glares at all the good writers*  
  
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Stuck  
  
It all started on a beautiful morning. The sky was a mixture of vibrant colours as the first rays of the sun lit up the sky. A slight breeze rustled the hair of the four people who were travelling in a slightly battered green jeep. The noise they were producing was equivalent to the sound (notice I don't say music) of a full orchestra ensemble practicing. (sheesh)  
  
"What do you mean by the sushi was closer to your plate? It was as close to mine and you know it! Ne, Hakkai, how come he gets to eat it? He's already eaten ten and I've only eaten fifteen..." Goku moaned.  
  
"Ha! See? You've already eaten more than me and you're still grumbling... see the injustice of it all!"  
  
"URUSAI KONO BAKAS! YYYAAARRGGGHHH!" *THUD! CRASH! BANG! *  
  
"ooowwww... that's gotta hurt..." Hakkai mused, "Ne, Hakuryu?"  
  
"Kyu..."  
  
*THUNK! OUCH! TONK! BONG! (running out of sound effects) erm... CONK? *  
  
"Erm... Sanzo, there's a river up ahead and there doesn't seem to be a- OUCH! ^#^$%@*!&@%#$%#^@$!@………"  
  
*chaos*  
  
"As I was saying, there's a river up ahead and there aren't any bridges nearby... so what're we gonna do?"  
  
"Ooooowwwwwww………… do whatever you want… I don't care… just go rent a boat or something…" Sanzo moaned. A bump was starting to form on his head.  
  
lw : *rolls on the floor with laughter* sanzo got trashed by hakkai? AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
sanzo : shut up!  
  
...  
  
"Arigato Kyou-sama... it's a big help."  
  
"Hakkai, that's my gold credit card you're talking about……………… WHAT THE HECK! THIS-DARN-BOAT-THAT-DOESN'T-EVEN-LOOK-LIKE-IT- CAN-FLOAT COSTS 18000 BUCKS ?!?!?!?! DAMN YOU SICKENING-ALWAYS-SMILING-WHETHER-IT'S-SOMETHING- GOOD-OR-BAD-GOODY-TWO-SHOES!"  
  
"Moo..."  
  
*kick* "SHUT UP YOU STUPID COW-WHO-HAS-COW-DUNG-FOR-A-BRAIN! I JUST LOST 18000 BUCKS THANKS TO A LOSER-SMILEY-FACED-GOODY-GOODY-WHO-THINKS-SPENDING- 18000-BUCKS-ON-A-BOAT-IS-OKAY-BECAUSE-IT'S-NOT-HIS-MONEY!"  
  
"Man... calm down Sanzo..."  
  
"Gojyo... if you don't shut up right now I'm going to blast you to bits... and trust me... I never miss."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Erm... on second thoughts, you can have the boat for free... I'll just go make the preparations..." Kyou said with a slight quaver in his voice. Who could blame him? When Sanzo shouted, it was as though the world was coming to an end. The sky was falling and everyone was dying. The works.  
  
After a while...  
  
" Bye! Thanks a lot!" Hakkai grinned as he waved goodbye. Gojyo was shaking uncontrollably and Goku was choking.  
  
"Oy, what's the matter with you two?" Sanzo asked coldly.  
  
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the three of them laughed uncontrollably. "Did you see the look on his face? He was terrified out of his skin! To think that he gave us the boat for free... aahahahahahahahahahahaha!"  
  
"Ne, Sanzo, maybe you should do that more often. Then we can get free food too!" Goku said happily.  
  
*thud*  
  
Later...  
  
"Is this river endless?"  
  
"..."  
  
"How long have we been travelling?"  
  
"Dunno... a few hours at least..."  
  
"Are we going to travel forever? We could die of hunger you know? I'm starting to feel hungry..."  
  
"You're always hungry you baka saru."  
  
"I'm NOT a saru you red-haired cockroach."  
  
"Do I look remotely like a cockroach to you?"  
  
"No... you look every bit like one."  
  
*Goku and Gojyo fighting*  
  
Even later...  
  
*Goku and Gojyo still fighting*  
  
"When are we getting there? How wide is this river exactly?"  
  
"Dunno."  
  
"You don't know anything do you?"  
  
"Well... I know I'm smarter than you..."  
  
"Then tell me how long we've been travelling and how much longer I have to be stuck with these two idiots who are rocking the boat to hard that we might fall off any minute-"  
  
SPLASH!  
  
"Damn you." sputtered a very, very wet monk whose perfect hair was currently hanging in little wet clumps. (lw : imagine it)  
  
*BANG! BANG!* Two bullets narrowly missed Goku and Gojyo's heads. Unfortunately, the bullets hit the boat, resulting in two holes.  
  
"This is bad."  
  
"At least it can't get any worse..."  
  
Then it started to rain.  
  
"Not worse than this anyway..."  
  
And lightning struck the boat. It went up in flames in less than a minute.  
  
"Erm... it can't get any worse... can it?"  
  
"Ouch! Something nibbled my toe. I think there are piranhas in here Sanzo... aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!" Goku shrieked as he swam for his life.  
  
"It can get worse Gojyo... and shut up before anything worse happens."  
  
"A-are those a-alliga-ALLIGATORS! Swim for your life!"  
  
"This is just great! We're running away from nature's freak creatures that were made to eat humans- hey! They eat humans, not youkai-" Gojyo stopped talking and swam even faster when he saw an alligator open it's mouth, ready to snap his head off.  
  
...  
  
"Whew... pant... I... pant... thought... pant... we were... pant... dead... pant... meat..." Hakkai panted.  
  
"I hate you Gojyo..." Goku muttered.  
  
"Hey! How come no one's blaming Sanzo? He made the holes in the boat..."  
  
Everyone glared at him. "Yah... and who was the one who made it rain? Who was the one who made the boat go up in flames? Who was the one who set nature's freak creatures on us?"  
  
"Mother nature?"  
  
"YOU! And now because of you we're stuck on this stupid island with no food... no beer or cigarettes... no idea where we're supposed to go now..."  
  
"And no pretty women..." Gojyo moaned.  
  
"Shut up! Now, anyone knows how to start a fire or at least build a shelter?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Oh well... we can at least try." Hakkai smiled, "though it won't be very successful..."  
  
"I'll get the firewood!" Goku said as he scampered in to the woods.  
  
...  
  
"That's the tenth time the tent has collapsed! I give up! I'm sleeping outside." Sanzo hissed as he stomped out.  
  
"Well... at least we have more space now..."  
  
Gojyo groaned.  
  
...  
  
"We're eating this for breakfast?" Goku asked, pointing disbelievingly at the burnt fish that was about as big as a teaspoon. Hakkai had graciously given him the biggest piece but... "It won't even fill up my mouth! Much less my stomach."  
  
"It's all we've got... and it's better than nothing." While Hakkai was talking, Goku had gobbled up everyone's share, but it left him hungrier than ever.  
  
"Hey! Where's my fish saru?" Gojyo asked, holding Goku up by his hair... "I don't know! Really! Put me down!"  
  
"That. Was. Our. Only. Breakfast. And. You. Gobbled. It. Up…… You. Are. So. Dead."  
  
"Kill him! YAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!"  
  
... (lw : muahahahaha... I'm finally starting on Tenkai... the gods are so dead)  
  
Kanzeonbosatsu looked down at the four people who had been dubbed idiots by her fighting with each other over breakfast. Then, she started laughing. Her tinkering laugh filled her palace as she rolled on the floor guffawing.  
  
kanzeonbosatsu : goddesses do not guffaw you idiot  
  
lw : it's funnier if they do *starts laughing*  
  
"Is something wrong Kanzeon?"  
  
"Aaaaahhhhhhhhahahahahaahahahaha! Those idiots called the imperial heavenly army nature's freak creatures! I don't believe it! Aaaaahhhhhhhhahahahaha! I'm gonna die laughing..."  
  
Just then, Nataku Taishi entered. He took one look at the foursome stuck on the island below and started laughing maniacally. That happened to Homura, Shien and Zeon who entered a few minutes later.  
  
Soon...  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhahahahahaha! Bwahahahahahahaahahahahahaha! Hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoohohoho! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
You get the idea. Anyway,  
  
"hahaha... you don't... hahaha... think... hahaha... you're being too... hahaha... harsh on them... hahahahahaha... do you? Hahahaha..."  
  
"Nah! Hahahahahaha..."  
  
"I still... hahaha... think we should... hahaha... go help them or something... aaahhhahahahaha..." Nataku laughed. Goku was his best friend after all...  
  
"You go then... I'm not going. Not after Gojyo called my battalion nature's freak creatures." Homura grumbled.  
  
"Or maybe you shouldn't... hmm... this should be quite interesting..." Kanzeonbaosatsu said evilly.  
  
kanzeon : i'm not evil  
  
...  
  
Down below...  
  
"Did you people have to hit me so hard?" Goku moaned.  
  
"Well... let's see... YES! BECAUSE YOU ATE THE ONLY BREAKFAST WE HAD! AND YOU KEPT ROLLING ABOUT LAST NIGHT SO THE TENT COLLAPSED TEN TIMES AND I COULDN'T SLEEP!" Sanzo roared, causing a few birds to fly into the air in a hurry.  
  
"Actually Sanzo, it collapsed fifteen times."  
  
"That's not the point. The point is-"  
  
Sanzo was cut off by a huge... thing that charged full speed at them. Okay, it was a cross between a rhino and a hippo, and it was fast I tell you. It was traveling like 100miles/hour.  
  
(lw : siao)  
  
"RUN!"  
  
"Do I look dumb? Of course I know that!"  
  
"How come this kind of thing always happens to us?"  
  
"Because we're jinxed by the company of this idiotic red-haired cockroach."  
  
"shut up you corrupted monk!"  
  
"Don't want to. Red-haired cockroach, red-haired cockroach, red-haired cockroach, red-haired cock- OOWWWWW! How DARE you hit me... urrghh!"  
  
There and then, with Gojyo in front and Sanzo behind, they broke the 10 km record.  
  
sanzo : hey! How come he get's to be in front?  
  
gojyo : cause I'm faster... hahaha  
  
lw : no... because you were being chased and at the end of 10 km he caught up with you and bashed you up  
  
gojyo : *glares at lw*  
  
"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh! It's catching up with me! Help! Someone! Anyone!" Goku shrieked. Then, the rhipo caught up with him. "It's gonna eat me! The rhipo or hipno or whatever its called is gonna eat me!  
  
"Hi Goku." the rhipo opened it's mouth and revealed none other than Nataku Taishi.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! The rhipo has eaten Nataku!"  
  
(lw : this is getting dumber and dumber)  
  
...  
  
"You're saying Kanzeonbosatsu is planning all these? Jiroshin was the boat- seller and the heavenly army were the freak creatures ?!?!?!?! You're mad." Gojyo muttered.  
  
"Yup. She had everything planned out from the start."  
  
"Wow! I'm so touched Nataku! You actually came all the way to tell us!" Goku smiled happily.  
  
"What's the catch?" Sanzo asked coldly.  
  
(lw : ignore him, he's suspicious of everything Nataku does... but then again, he's weird)  
  
"Well... see, I've been dying to play a trick on Kanzeon but I can't think of one good enough to be able to actually trick her. I thought you people would want to get back at her after what she's done to you so..."  
  
"I'll think about it."  
  
"What the- Sanzo! Get a grip! Of course we'll help you!" Gojyo yelled as he started doing a war dance.  
  
"Great! So, I've got this really good plan...  
  
...  
  
"How come I have this feeling that those guys below are plotting something?" Kanzeonbosatsu muttered.  
  
"Because they are?"  
  
"But what can they come up with! They have cow dung for brains."  
  
"I expect you taught Konzen that line."  
  
"I didn't teach it to him, he learnt it from me!"  
  
"Is there a difference?"  
  
"Yes- AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M falling! Someone help mmmeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Did I hear something?" Jiroshin asked as he poked his head into the room.  
  
"No, I didn't hear anything either..." Nataku said as he smiled innocently.  
  
...  
  
Kanzeonbosatsu landed with a very ungoddess-like PLOP!  
  
lw : actually, I think it sounds more like cow dung plopping from a cow's butt  
  
Kanzeon : you- *starts chasing lw who runs away as fast as she can*  
  
"What am I doing-" Kanzeonbosatsu was very rudely cut off by a mechanical voice saying, "Welcome to Kanzeonbosatsu's Island of Terror... please wait, the first horror is coming soon..."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
After a few seconds...  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Heeelllllppp mmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"  
  
Horror of horrors! A hundred Nataku Taishis were chasing her. As if one wasn't enough. And to top it off, they were all shooting energy balls at her... and his energy balls never misses. "Oooooowwwww! Ooooooowwwwww! Hey! Stop it! What did I do to deserved this! Cut it out! OOOOWWWWWWWW! Urghhhh!"  
  
Then...  
  
"Not the four of you too! Leave me alone! Ooooooooowwwww! Oooooowwwwwwww-" one of the many Sanzos just shot her butt.  
  
"Man! It's just the beginning and you're freaked out already! Don't worry, more horrors are coming your way soon. Muahahahahahhahahaha..." the mechanical voice sounded a lot like Gojyo.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh...  
  
...  
  
In Tenkai...  
  
Nataku was enjoying himself very much. "Gojyo, try to cut her hair off! That vain idiot will start screaming like hell! Go, go... YES! Woohoo! You go man!" they hi-fived each other and whooped.  
  
"Kono bakas..." Sanzo muttered.  
  
"You should be enjoying yourself Sanzo! Make use of the time you have here... who knows when we'll be back here again..." Hakkai said, clearly enjoying himself as he emerged from the library.  
  
Nataku had helped them enter Tenkai with his powers. Now, he, Gojyo and Goku were busy controlling the hundreds of extras they had made and aiming them to either hit Kanzeonbosatsu or at least freak her out.  
  
"The irony! Kanzeonbosatsu wanted to freak you out on the island but she's the freaked out one now! And on her island too! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahaha!" Nataku was obviously going bonkers with happiness.  
  
"You sure the spell will hold?" Goku asked anxiously. What he meant was the very powerful curse that had sent Kanzeonbosatsu down to the island and removed her powers so she couldn't do anything to stop the things that Nataku, Gojyo and Goku had planned. And prevent her from returning to Tenkai too naturally.  
  
"Sure it will! With all our powers combined, of course it'll hold!"  
  
"Now, the second horror... oh man! I'm gonna have so much fun doing this..." Goku said happily.  
  
"Goku... don't freak her out too much... leave some space for me to bully her..." Hakkai said smiling.  
  
"Okay! Now... we begin phrase two...  
  
...  
  
"pant... pant... pant... pant... phew... close one... I thought I was dead meat..." Kanzeon had hardly caught her breath when...  
  
"Now, we begin phrase two! Please fasten your seatbelts..."  
  
Out of nowhere, something that resembled a carriage from a roller coaster appeared in front of her.  
  
"Wha-" an unknown force pushed her into one of the seats and her safety belt clicked in place. Then, it shot off at the speed of light... literally. Kanzeonbosatsu's face was distorted as the wind rushed past her. (lw : you know those cartoon characters? And they stand in front of a huge fan or something and their mouth get filled with wind and it's like... their whole face goes wobbly? Yah, her face was like that. Oh! By the way, Kanzeon's hair is short now, courtesy of Sha Gojyo)  
  
"Right after those... inhuman copies disappear, this happens. This is just great. And I don't even have my powers now-" SPLAT! A cream smacked her in the face.  
  
lw : aaaaaaaahahahahahahahaahahaha! *rolling on the floor with laughter*  
  
kanzeonbosatsu : shut up  
  
Don't forget the roller coaster thingy was traveling at the speed of light... imagine the force behind the cream pie. Then, more food started hitting Kanzeonbosatsu and before one minute had passed, there was cream pie, huge wads of sticky, chewed bubble gum, (lw : eeeeeeeewwwwww) gooey, melted chocolate, gravy and lots of other gross things. (lw : yuck. yuck. yuck. yuck. yuck) By the time the "roller coaster" stopped, Kanzeonbosatsu was a mess. As in a REAL mess. Her now short hair was hanging in gooey strands and her clothes were an array of gross colours. Not to mention the smell.  
  
sanzo, gojyo, nataku : NNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Get her away from me! Aaaaaaahhhhhh! She's coming closer! Get her away! The stink! Behold the stink! *start barfing*  
  
"Those people are going to pay. They'll never get away with this! NEVER! YOU WAIT TILL I CATCH YOU GUYS! YOU ARE SO GONNA PAY! YYYYYYAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Kanzeonbosatsu hollered, shaking her fist at the sky. Anyone who didn't know better would have thought she'd lost her marbles.  
  
lw : which just goes to show how smart I am... actually knowing she's not mad. :D:D:D:D:D *someone in the audience throws tins of rotten tomatoes* hey! Watch it! You are reading the product of my geniusness okay  
  
that someone : geniusness. HA! There's no such word! Even my grandma can write better than you!  
  
lw : why you... *takes sanzo's harisen*  
  
sanzo : hey! give it back!  
  
lw : *brings the harisen crashing down on that reader's head multiple times till the paper fan is a blur*  
  
...  
  
"My turn!" Gojyo said enthusiastically. He was about to launch phrase three when a vile, stinking, filthy and extremely livid Kanzeonbosatsu appeared beside him. Gojyo started shaking with fear and opened his mouth to warn the others but no sound came out.  
  
Nataku, oblivious to the danger, thought out loud, "Wonder what we should do next? Maybe we should let T-rex roam the earth one last time huh."  
  
"N-n-na-nata-Nataku... is th-that Kanzeon?" Goku was suddenly very scared.  
  
"Nah! The spell's too strong- Oh no! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Nataku shouted as he ran for the nearest exit, closely followed by Gojyo and Goku.  
  
"H-hi Kanzeonbosatsu." Hakkai smiled as he slunk away and shot out of the door.  
  
"So, you're in this too huh. Tell those ass- WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT YOU CORRUPTED MONK!"  
  
Sanzo was laughing so hard that he'd fallen off the chair he was sitting on. "You look a mess... aaaaaaaahhhhhhhahahahahaha!" Since he hadn't seen the events on "Kanzeonbosatsu's Island of Horror", he had no idea that Kanzeon actually looked such a mess and was currently in a laughing fit. :D  
  
"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Get OUT of my sight! OUT!" Kanzeon said as she kicked him out. "They are all going to pay... and I know just how." Kanzeon grinned as she went to clean herself up.  
  
...  
  
" ... ... ... and she kicked me out... literally." Sanzo finished. "You think she has something in stored for us? Cause I don't have a good feeling about this."  
  
"Well... we have to be on our guard then." Nataku mused.  
  
Just then, Homura, Kenren, Zeon and Shien walked towards them with smiles plastered all over their face. "Man! That was fantastic! We saw it all! You people were great! But Kanzeonbosatsu's in one of her moods again. You better not bother her. And maybe you guys should go back down... especially you, Konzen."  
  
"Alright then... I'll go with you back down." Nataku waved as he descended with the four troublesome people.  
  
...  
  
"Well... we'll be going then. Bye Nataku!" Goku cried as he hugged his best friend goodbye.  
  
"Boy! That was fun! I won't mind doing that again. Thanks Nataku!" Gojyo did a victory dance around Nataku.  
  
"Let's go now." Sanzo muttered.  
  
"BYE NATAKU!" Goku yelled as the jeep started rumbling away.  
  
Soon...  
  
"Do you hear a stampede?" Hakkai asked.  
  
"Yah... it's like the whole ground's shaking or something... HAKKAI! LOOK OUT!" Sanzo grabbed the steering wheel and swerved the jeep to the right, narrowly missing ten Kanzeonbosatsus who were sitting in the middle of the road. Out of the blue, a high-pitched war cry shattered the silence of the morning. Looking back, Goku and Gojyo saw a whole herd of Kanzeonbosatsus chasing after them.  
  
"Hakkai, whatever you do, don't slow down. We have a stampede of Kanzeonbosatsus behind us!"  
  
"At least they're not shooting at us..."  
  
Just then, something hit the jeep. After five seconds, energy balls were raining down on them.  
  
"SHUT UP GOJYO!" Sanzo, Hakkai and Goku shouted in unision.  
  
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lw : my fics just keep getting worse. it's like they always have this really good plot which i always end up spoiling with my stories  
  
gojyo : glad you know... how come i'm the one who's being made fun of AGAIN?  
  
lw : simply because i don't like you... yah... and the scolding part, i got some ideas from Sukunami Taka :D  
  
Anyway... pls review... and jia fang... i actually wanted to put you as the reader whom i bashed up but i didn't have the heart... *like real* i'll put you in next time. :D:D:D:D:D 


End file.
